“Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.”C. JoyBell C.
I love this quote! It precisely narrates the role of fear in our lives. However it is easier to face fear in quotes than applying those quotes in real life. All of us have come across fear at least sometime during our life. Even the strongest and mightiest have felt the pangs of fear before they did that BIG thing. Fear is universal. Then why is it easy for some to conquer their fear while difficult for others?
This question kept on spinning in my head when I was doing some deep study on fear and how it affects us. I looked at people in my life who seemed to be fearless and those who seemed to be in fear often. Believe it or not I came in the latter category. If you ask my friends on the drama I created before taking the first zip line at Smoky Mountains, you will know how weak I was in my legs and how I denied going on the zip line for almost an hour. I eventually did the zip line to realize “Fear can be conquered. You need to approach it a little differently every time.”
“Fear can be conquered. You need to approach it a little differently every time.”Tweet
Over the years, fear came knocking at my door at many occasions:
- The night before my book launch.
- My first coaching call with a client.
- While in labour, thinking if I will be a good mother.
- My first meditation workshop as a teacher.
These are just a few examples. Fear came gushing into my body and took over my nervous system. But with my study in understanding fear and how it works, I now have some tools up my sleeves to deal with it. My journey with fear has taught me immensely, and here are some tips you can use when you are grappled with fear the next time.
My go to tool. The very first thing I do when I feel anxious and notice fear settling in, I take some deep breaths. I close my eyes, take a pause and inhale expansively. When I exhale, I imagine I am exhaling the fear out with all the might I have in my body. The deep breathing helps in calming my nerves quickly thereby loosening fear’s grip on me.
The biggest fear I have is the fear of failure. When I first set up my Facebook business page to be out there in the world as a coach, cold feet set in and I deleted the page in flat 10 minutes. Questions kept nagging me – “What if I fail?” “What if no one likes my page?” “What if no one wants to render my coaching services?” “What if I make a fool of myself out there?”
But then, I went back to my breathing. I sat and journaled instead. I wrote answers to questions – “What if I am successful?” “What if people love me and my services?” “What if everything falls in place?”
Journaling answers to these questions helped me shifting from a fear base to a courage foundation and I recreated my Facebook page. Try to focus on the best case scenario and experience your fear receding.
“Peace begins with me” meditation
You can use this meditation whenever you feel agitated or stressed out with fear. Touch your thumb and pointer finger and say ‘peace,’ then touch your middle finger and thumb and say ‘begins,’ then touch your ring finger and thumb and say ‘with’, and then finally touch your little finger and thumb and say ‘me’. Repeat this cycle for one minute whenever you feel anxious. You change the word ‘peace’ with ‘love,’ ‘strength,’ ‘courage’ etc. as per your need.
Choosing love instead of fear
Gabby Bernstein in her book, May Cause Miracles, has given some great tools on how to deal with fear. She asks you to write down all your fears. List down each of your fears. Then across every fear write “I am willing to see love instead of this.” This affirmation is so strong that it helps to melt the rigidness of fear and slowly gets us into the softer cues of love.
“Scared is what you’re feeling. Brave is what you’re doing.” Emma DonoghueTweet
Emma Donoghue says “Scared is what you’re feeling. Brave is what you’re doing.” Transform yourself from the feeling to doing and fear will have no say at all. Practicing the above techniques has helped me in not letting fear dictate terms. I am the person in charge of my actions, from being scared to brave.
So my friend, when fear knock in the next time, “What do we say to the Fear?”
“Not today, not today, not today.”
About our Guest Author
Pradnya Vernekar is a certified holistic life coach from the University of Wellness, West Virginia. She is also a certified angel card reader, an energy healer and a spiritual teacher. Her books Love Infused Pregnancy and Coach Wisdom are Amazon bestseller. Her mission is to equip everyone with tools and strategies to unlock their true potential and assist in healing journeys. She calls herself a ‘light worker’ brightening this world one step at a time.