Remember that your life is about you, about your truth, about being authentic with yourself. Go inward and be very honest with yourself-perhaps in a way that you haven’t in a very long time, if ever.
The great news is that when the good comes through, it expands to the ones you love. When you are happier, confident, and more focused, you will naturally uplift those around you as well. Your future is something only you can own. Nurture that part of you that says, “I am responsible for my dreams, for my plans, for the things that I envision in my future.”
When you have a supportive belief system and perspective, you’re less likely to give in to the depths of despair. You can face down any challenge. No matter what comes down the path, you are going to be able to survive and thrive. Your vision helps you become strong enough to face any obstacle, and your acceptance of responsibility helps you to learn and grow because of the experiences and challenges along your path.
Learn to Communicate the Good
Visit any restaurant, cafe, family gathering, or workplace water cooler, and what are you likely to overhear? Most likely, you’ll find that dominating the conversation is gossip, complaining, bitterness, and negativity.
Most of humanity is stuck on this level of thinking and communicating. It’s the level of communication we get from the media, as they continually speak to us through news programs, newspapers, magazines, advertisements, etc. Since we’ve been exposed to this low-quality energy for so long, and we’re surrounded by it for so many of our waking hours, it’s no wonder that this is the level of many (and probably most) of our thoughts and conversations. It has become a familiar pattern of being and communicating. It is this level of consciousness that keeps people stuck in conditioned patterns of negativity, victim hood, self-doubt, distrust, contention, and a pool of other toxic intentions and emotions. Despite occasional aspirations of a different quality of life, they remain locked in their old familiar habits and ways of being.
Most people know what they do not want. That list rolls of the tongue quite easily. For instance, someone may say:
- “I don’t want this backache”
- “I don’t want to have a loveless marriage”
- “I don’t want these bills”
- “I don’t want to struggle in my business”
When we complain about our challenges in life, we don’t feel so alone. We feel heard and validated. We justify it by telling ourselves, “I’m just blowing off some steam,” in the hope it will bring relief.
A poignant quote from author James Allen states: “Mind is the Master power that molds and makes, And Man is Mind, and evermore he takes the tool of Thought, and, shaping what he wills, brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills: –He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass: Environment is but his looking-glass.”
Without even realizing it, we are focusing our “tool of thought” on the negative, and thereby attracting more negativity into our lives. The Law of Attraction can play a negative role in shaping our environment. For example, when we say, “I don’t want these bills,” our focus and emotion is on- you guessed it-unwanted bills! You can attract whatever you predominately focus on and emotionalize. So, if your focus is on negative emotions around bills, you’ll probably create more bills. You draw it to you because you give energy to it with your attention and emotion.
Alongside negativity, most people think and live in constant fear. As Elinor Moody wrote in her 1923 book, You Can Receive Whatsoever You Desire, “Let us remember that fear is misdirected faith. We are having faith in things we do not want, rather than in the things we want.” Again, this is the level of consciousness where most people are. It isn’t necessarily bad; however, it just isn’t very positive energy. And it probably isn’t getting you the results you desire in your life.
Additionally, people who exist at a level of fear seldom move to a more positive level. It’s a rare person who will stop complaining, fighting, or fearing long enough to focus on the positive. Yet, it’s the positive emotional energy that brings the miracles and the manifestations that we want.
One powerful way to protect yourself from the negative influences of the world is to abstain from them. For example, authors Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield forbade negativity in their offices, and they didn’t watch the news or read the papers because of how negative or one- sided the news media can be. The news is not designed to nurture your well-being.
It’s often challenging to create the same kind of separation in other areas of our lives. Friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors often share negative views and opinions unsolicited. It can be challenging, to say the least, to keep their perspectives and tendencies from ours. In other words, it can be challenging to have a positive outlook when the people you associate with have a dominantly negative outlook on life.
Keep in mind, that humanity, in general, is at a low vibrational level-the level of victim hood, negativity, and complaining. To bring about a positive personal transformation, you must first have the desire to move up the vibrational scale. We must raise the quality of our state of consciousness to begin attracting higher quality experiences and circumstances.
The late great personal development author and trainer, Jim Rohn, taught, “You become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” You’ve probably heard similar concepts before, and this is not a hard and fast rule, but it means that you likely have developed somewhat similar habits, beliefs, communication patterns, and even financial standing as your five closest friends (those you spend the most time with). We tend to like and associate with people that are similar to us.
Because we typically surround ourselves with like-minded people, and because we tend to meld with the people we associate with the most, we must be conscious of those we spend our time with and the impact it has on who we are and the direction we’re headed in life. People tend to stay on the same level of career or social status they’re accustomed to because it feels comfortable and safe-even if they don’t feel fulfilled or financially healthy there. When they meet up with friends, it’s usually within a close circle with shared interests, whether it be church, work, school, or hobbies. As a result, they rarely progress from the level they are on. Now, this is not necessarily a bad thing. You can stay in your comfort zone and do okay in life. But if you begin to feel dissatisfied with where you are in any area of your life and decide you want more, the first step in your new direction is not to resist the current situation. After all, “it” is what “it” is. Resisting what you don’t want won’t change anything. The psychologist Carl Jung once said, “what we resist will persist and often will grow stronger.”
Outside Your Social Comfort Zone
Once you have moved your mindset into acceptance of what is, you can now put forth the effort required to re-align yourself to the vibrational quality of the life you desire. That doesn’t always mean finding new friends, but it could. Or, it could mean working to uplift the friends you currently have and want to keep. In other words, redirecting the negative tone of conversations and sharing with your friends the changes you’re making in your life. Set and feed the intention that they’ll be supportive of you on this journey and perhaps be inspired to make improvements along with you.
Elevating your consciousness just a slight degree is not enough for transformation, however, If you want to achieve big dreams in business and life, you will want to step out of your social comfort zone (your network of peers and associates) and make new social connections with people you look up to or admire certain aspects of their life. In other words, you may need to level up your social network.
Keep in mind that leveling up is different from just thinking outside of the box. You can take social risks and venture outside your comfort zone and yet still stay stuck on your current level. Brainstorming with your neighbor is going to yield a different result than brainstorming with, say, Richard Branson, the owner of over 500 businesses including Virgin Airways. The point is this – to achieve goals you’ve never met; you may want to network with new people on a new playing field.
Therefore, consider well your current energy level, your objectives, and the people outside of your existing social network, who can help you rise to a new level.
Where do You Want To Be ?
To look at this another way, the people closest to you will either hold you down or help to uplift you. Randy Gage has commented, “The five people closest to you will influence your success.” They will discourage you (pointing out all the reasons that you can’t do something or that things won’t work out), or they will encourage you (pointing out your strengths and abilities and cheering you on in stretching to achieve more). The people around you will influence your focus, energy, and confidence. So, where do you want to be?
About This Post
This article has been published with inputs and views from Stephen Barrow, who is the founder and owner of Club Success, an online resource that works with people that are looking to grow and develop in any area of their life. Going by the mantra, “Taking care of your needs is not selfish, it is necessary,” Stephen realized that finding comprehensive answers for life’s major criteria were virtually impossible to find online. He created Club Success to fill that gap. Prior to Club Success, Stephen was a business owner in the real estate industry, where he learned the need to work with people – mentor and guide them – to help them set and achieve goals. Club Success is now his true purpose.