“I don’t need any help!” “I can do it on my own…” a radio station that often runs in a high achiever’s mind. As a high achievers, you are pretty independent and don’t need support. People are amazed by what you create. You are seriously damn good! You have all your accomplishments and successes under your belt. You play at a level at which most other people cannot even imagine or see.
Isn’t that true? You always find yourself lobbying to absorb yet another project into your ever-growing container of projects and activities. As high achievers, we are often achievement-oriented. When I started my career as a software developer, I would almost always end up crossing my boundaries of work activities. If there was a UI-design or a business-related task that was holding up my work, I would just end up researching and doing it myself. And I would feel proud about myself along the way – “I didn’t need any help on that… I’ve got this on my own…” Being the perfectionist that I am, when I began to manage a team, I would often end up redoing my team’s pieces of work. When I went back to grad school to get my MBA degree, I traveled around as an ambassador for the program, I became a dad, and I topped my class – all in the same year. I would never consult or seek mentors to get help or gain their perspective and advice on my journey. Everything that I touched would turn gold, so why the heck should I even bother with all this.
There’s a time very early on when you can go it alone, but over time we all need help! Somewhere along the road I missed building my personal support team. I only realized this when I quit my high-flying corporate job to pursue coaching as a profession. The most successful leaders today are those who have been able to surround themselves with people that they can reach out to and ask for help in areas outside of their own expertise. And I so began seeking help and building connections that could help me achieve what I wanted even faster. I invested in fostering great relationships and was willing to ask for help.
All you need is just one, two, or three trusted individuals who share your vision and have your back when things get hard. You need people on the outside and you need people on the inside. All these people are aligned with your mighty vision and can constantly add their attitudes, ideas, values, perspectives, and skills in helping you move ahead. On the outside, I hired coaches who could help me address the multitude of challenges that cropped up from time to time and the fixed mindsets that are holding me back. On the inside, my wife and my daughter have been the biggest and strongest support systems in my new journey. It’s with them that I can really get very vulnerable and reveal not just my deepest wants but also my innermost resistances and fears.
Take an account of your journey this far. Celebrate your accomplishments and success. Even when you are wildly successful ask yourself, “Do I need help in any area of my life?” Then step up and ask for that help. Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness or been seen as too needy. On the contrary, asking for help is a sign of deep commitment to your goals and dreams, and your community becomes the holder of your dreams. When it’s a TEAM, Together Everyone Achieves More!
3 thoughts on “Challenges of High Achievers – Challenge #1: I Don’t Need Help”
Sanket, the entire series was great. This one, especially.
“Everyone needs help. Even Spider-man.”