Am I a Negative Person?

Is exactly what you should be asking yourself. We often tend to form opinions about the people around us, tagging them as negative people – people who are constantly worrying, or being pessimistic. But, how often do we tend to look into ourselves to look for the signs of negativity within us? The answer is we don’t. We prefer to be on safe ground and label people around us as negative people.

Take this test today to identify if you are a negative person:

  1. Do you tend to worry about your present and future situations?
  2. Do you find yourself complaining a lot?
  3. Are you hesitant to move out of your comfort zone?
  4. Do you miss enjoying the little things in life?
  5. Do you gossip?
  6. Are you unenthusiastic about someone’s good news? Do you genuinely participate in their happiness, or do you tend to put up a public facade?
  7. Do you reach out to people to gain sympathy?
  8. Are you discontent with where you are in life?
  9. When something goes wrong, do you tend to blame others?
  10. Does your ego come in the way of offering an apology?
  11. Are you Mr. (or Miss) Know-It-All?
  12. Do you lie to cover yourself and your situation?

If any of your answers are “Yes”, then it is an indication that you are a negative person.

Are you one of them? If you are, what are you doing to change yourself? I’d like to know. Please leave your comments below.

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Am I living my life or a life that those around wish me to live?

This was the question I was reflecting upon this morning. Who am I? What am I doing here? Am I being truly honest to myself? Should I be trusting my intuition? Or should I continue living and reacting to the state of affairs around me? Is this what I am meant for? Is this my calling? Should I continue living a life of mediocrity? The world around me rejoiced when I was born. I was crying then. On my deathbed will I be content with how I have served? Or will I still be crying and regretting then?

The underlying message that was revealed while I was contemplating on these questions is Take charge of your life. Live it as you wish to before it’s too late! Realize your calling and your mission before life slips out of your hands. When we are born there is a general order of things that sets in – something that the society puts in place for us by default – go to school, get a degree, get a respectable job, get married, have children, educate them, secure their future and so on. There are standard roles that are entrusted with every person – the role of a son or daughter, brother or sister, spouse, father or mother, professional or businessperson, etc. And while playing these roles, knowingly or unknowingly we become one with the crowd. We get stuck in a rut. We are purely motivated by money, power, and status. All of the cultural and sociological environment around us starts to dictate how we should live.

When I was young, I thought that the family I was born to defines who I am. So I took up engineering looking at all the great engineers in our family starting with my grandfather. I traveled the world and secured the best jobs I could. My job became by identity and apparently still is. And that’s where I am still struggling, I must admit. But there is one thing that I have come to terms with – how I am living right now is not in alignment with my true self. It is not what I am meant for. And being someone else is challenging, exhausting and purely unsustainable.

The more we listen to others and dance to their tunes and advises, the more we betray ourselves. The more we listen and follow the societal chatter, the less we hear ourselves. Stop living your life without a purpose. Stop being mediocre. Stop living a life that others wish you for. Live a life that’s conscious, deliberate and intentional. Constantly aim at being better versions of yourself. Leave the safety nets of your comfort zones. Face your fears and pass through them. Explore and indulge in things that make you happy. The answers to all questions I asked above lie within us. Don’t quell the innate whispers from within. We are all meant for greatness. And when all of this is set within you, your future will automatically take care of itself.

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This Christmas, Forgive Yourself

Powerful thought! I was having an everyday morning conversation with my wife at 6 AM. She told me something that got me thinking. Her trainer at the gym was telling them about Christmas. It was a yoga session. “Christmas commemorates the birth of Jesus Christ,” she started. “And so, it is a moment of happiness. So in our yoga session today, let’s visualize filling ourselves with happiness. And to do that you need to forgive yourself.”

Forgive Yourself? That got me thinking. To fill something in, you need to make room.  Our minds and bodies are always full of tension, stress, anger, resentment, and remorse. We carry this all the time inside us. So where is the space to fill in some happiness? We often think and talk of forgiving others. You would forgive your friend if he or she’d hurt you in some way. You would forgive your spouse over an argument. You would forgive your child over an act of innocence. We are always thinking and looking outwards. But have you ever considered forgiving yourself? In every situation, we all have a choice: to act or not to act in a particular way. So if you had an argument with your wife, you had a choice – to be upset about it or not. Most of us make the natural choice of getting affected first and then seek out to forgive the other.

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By forgiving yourself, you get rid of all the unwanted toxins that you keep filling inside over the years. By forgiving yourself, you empty your mind and body and thus make space for happiness to fill in. The few sentences that trainer at the gym spoke was brief yet very profound.

So why wait for the New Year to ring in and make a resolution. Let’s start with Christmas, a season of happiness to take this step to forgive ourselves and let all the happiness flow in.

Live Happy! Merry Christmas!

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