Investing in a book is a rule that I default to. And so, I have so many books in my library that I know I possibly might not be able to read all of them in my lifetime. Yet, I default to buying the book, always. If a decision has to be made about a book, any book, it’s bought. Done deal.

When I first saw the book Becoming Flawesome, I was enthralled by its title “Flawesome.” Then I looked down at the author’s name. It was Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani, the co-founder of Mindvalley and Vishen Lakhiani’s former wife. While I must admit, I haven’t followed Kristina’s work as much, I have been a member of Mindvalley for many years, and quite a fan of Vishen’s teachings and radical philosophies.

And so the rebel in me, with great hope and curiosity, decided to pick up this book to read amongst the several other books in my library who were waiting in queue to be picked.

In short, this book is another self-help book. But, not just any other average self-help book. This one is refreshingly honest, quite insightful, and an honest exploration of the very humanness we often fail to understand by ourselves. Kristina uses very relatable language and style and has managed to keep me latched on with her own quirky uniqueness and life experiences throughout her book.

For me, I found that the book can be read in a couple of ways. You can either read it chapter after chapter and then complete the self-assignment tagged at the end of that chapter, or like me, you could open the table of contents, and jump to any chapter that calls to you at that moment. The book is divided into 8 sections, with each section going deeper into an aspect of your inward journey toward deep awareness, authenticity, and self-love. You don’t have to read the book page after page like a fictional novel, rather, I would invite you to go at your own pace. Read, reflect, and practice.

Becoming Flawesome = Fearless Authenticity + Unapologetic Honesty + Selfless Self-Love

As Kristina points out right at the beginning of her book, there are no recipes in life. Everyone travels his or her own journey, wrapped around in their dents, scratches, flaws, and imperfections. And throughout the book, she’s remained true to her promise. Her words feel like a dear friend, a trusted companion, but nowhere does she give you hacks, formulas, rules, or strategies. The book is so deep and radical, yet you will always find Kristina warmly and caringly guiding you with her personal experiences, insights, and perspectives.

Your dragons will not cease to exist, no matter how well you build the walls of spirituality around them.

Fearless Authenticity

The book starts with how we are so conditioned to live our lives in a fog while missing the most important ingredient of life — ourselves. And because of that missing ingredient, we are all living inauthentic lives. Living inauthentic lives is hard and challenging. We are constantly pushed to hustle, be perfect, and strive for success. Going beyond the buzzword, Kristina does a great job of carefully lifting the veils over all these aspects and treading your journey towards authenticity. One of my biggest takeaways from this part of the book is: Authenticity is internal. The moment you try to use authenticity as a means to influence the world, it stops being authenticity, and becomes something else entirely.

The people that you love do not need your sacrifice – they want you to be happy. Not only is your sacrifice of personal happiness pointless, but it is also a heavy burden on those for whom you so selflessly want to make the offering.

Unapologetic Honesty

All of us are a little delusional. We live in a reality that’s actually created inside our heads and not the “real” reality that’s out there facing us. As the American writer John Steinback said, “It is a hard thing to leave any deeply routined life, even if you hate it,” no matter how much we hate ourselves being in the rut, we eventually always find ourselves in a rut.

Without revealing any spoilers from the book, our brains do not like gaps, chaos, or uncertainty, and so it fills up the gaps with our perception of reality and presents it to us as reality. In other words, we are constantly living in a mode of self-deception. The way Kristina puts it in her book, “Once you fix your relationship with yourself, your relationship with the world will fall into place.” My biggest takeaway from this section of the book is a powerful question: Ask yourself, are you faking it, or are you giving it your best effort? Can you feel the difference between the two?

Self-care is about surviving, while self-love is about thriving.

Selfless Self-Love

Finally coming to the third part of the equation of Becoming Flawesome is practicing the very act of self-love. While the entire concept of self-love is quite beaten up all over the “personal development” industry, Kristina brings to light not only the subtle differences between self-love and being selfish, but also distinguishes between self-love, self-care, and emotional indulgence. Obsession over self-care, indulgence, and selfishness are simple attempts, at best, to compensate for something that is lacking – self-love. My biggest takeaway from this section is:  Self-love isn’t ritualistic, it is a constant attitude.

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In conclusion, if you have ever felt burdened with living under someone else’s expectations, constantly wearing that heavy mask of perfectionism, and somewhere feeling that separation from your true self, Kristina’s new book Becoming Flawesome will pave the way for a deeply authentic, beautifully imperfect life. And thrive in being flawesomely you!

As you decide to pick up your copy of this book, remember your success depends on how committed you are to this path. It’s your journey to take.

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#BecomingFlawesome #ReinventYourself

If you want to know more about Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani or read more about her work, do follow her on Instagram.