A lot of people set money goals, weight goals, career goals etc. but hardly do you hear or see people set emotional goals. We set goals in other areas of our life and in the process, ignore our emotional wellbeing. The emotional life is most important because it is the root of our actions; we most times act in a certain way because of how we feel.
Most people allow their emotions to rule them or be in charge of their life rather than their rational reasoning. Deciding what to do with your emotions instead of allowing your emotions to decide what you should do, should be among your priority goals for the upcoming year.
You need to move from Emotional Enslavement to Emotional Mastery; this means moving from being emotionally enslaved to being emotionally in charge of your life.
Research has proven that:
- High level of Emotional Intelligence (EI) can ensure you to get the job more easily; 71% of top managers find EI more important for business than IQ, and 59% would immediately reject the candidate with high IQ (Intelligent Quotient), but low EI! (Freedman, 2014)
- Emotional Intelligence affects our physical and mental health. Emotional intelligence helps us to deal with negative emotions; people who experience uncontrollable destructive emotions on a regular basis have 19% higher chances of heart diseases(Kam, 2015), and a frightening 70% higher chances of developing cancer (Hagan, 2013)!
- Emotional Intelligence is more important than IQ when considering success and prestige in professional settings. Many companies like McKinsey hire for entry-level positions based on IQ, then promote people based on EQ.
Set the “Know Yourself” Goal
Emotional intelligence is the blend of your feeling and thinking, and using this insight to guide your thoughts and actions. For you to set emotional based goals, you need to study, understand, assess and take the Self Assessment/Personality tests to know who you are and how you act. You also need to assess how the emotions you possess are working for and/or against you. There are plenty of such assessments available on the Internet. Pick a couple and get going.
Set the “People Attitude” Goal
What is your emotional frequency with your spouse, boss, colleagues, subordinates etc.? How do you react when you have a misunderstanding or conflict with people? Do you control your emotions in any situation you find yourself? For those who sustain toxic emotions, such as anger, nervousness, sadness etc., you need to set a goal to control and be in charge of your emotions.
Set the “Patience” Goal
This era we live in is full of many impatient individuals. It is has been found that over 80% of people have low emotional quotient for patience. Patience is a compulsory virtue one needs to posses to become productive and successful. “Without patience, we learn less in life, we see less, we feel less, we hear less; ironically, ‘rush’ and ‘more’ usually mean less” – Mother Theresa.
Set the “Less Expectation” Goal
A lot of people are very big on ‘expectations’. We need to set expectation goals to help us expect less. People should be aware that expectation is not a strategy. Expectation is not a factor of production. No matter how much you expect from someone, your ‘expectation’ cannot make that person deliver. Expectations start from you and end with you. When your expectations are not met, if not controlled, your negative emotions becomes in charge of you. To avoid this, you need to set expectation goals that will enable you have control of your emotions when your expectations are not met.
Set the “Thought” Goal
Each of your feelings is propelled by a thought. We act based on how we think. So, when you set goals on managing your emotions, you also need to set goals in controlling your thoughts. When you have thoughts that incite negative emotions, you get to react in a negative way which often leads to regrets and disappointment in oneself. Setting ‘Thoughts goal’ is very important! You either think constructive or destructive thoughts. When you think constructive thoughts, you will have positive and healthy emotions. When you have destructive thoughts, you will continually be drained with toxic and negative emotions.
Get a Life Coach/Accountability Partner
Having a Life Coach who serves as an accountability partner, does not only help you set your goals, but also keeps you ‘in check’ of your emotions, and propels you in achieving your goals in order to become a better version of yourself.
Setting emotional goals help you with
- Achieving more in life.
- Overcoming procrastination.
- Improving your mental, physical, and spiritual health.
- more focus.
- drastically reducing your ‘regret’ moments.
This article was published on GoalsOnTrack blog. It is written by Lanre Olusola, acclaimed as Africa’s foremost Life Coach and Cognitive Behavioral Psychologist. He is the Chief Catalyst at the Olusola Lanre Coaching Academy (OLCA).